Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Short Imagined Monologues
http://mcsweeneys.net/links/monologues/6oregontrail.html

How many gold medals would Michael Phelps have won if all he cared about was making it across the pool? How many championships would Jordan have if all he'd wanted to do was dribble the ball down the court? Sure, you can make it across the country in relative comfort. But let me ask you this: How many spare wagon wheels do you think Michael Phelps takes with him? Why not push a naked, starving family to the brink of collapse and hunt your ass off for food all the way to Oregon? Isn't that what Jordan would do?

This reminded me of this - http://www.virtualapple.org/oregontraildisk.html - which was discovered almost to the detriment of my GPA right around finals time last spring.

Timothy McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Short Imagined Monologues

"Listen, son, we need to have a talk. This isn't going to be easy for either of us. You are not my son. I'm sorry, I know this will come as a blow to you. But the fact is, no son of mine plays Oregon Trail like you do. "

No son of mine plays Oregon Trail like that...