Pages tagged theonion:

Sony Releases New Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/sony_releases_new_stupid_piece_of

Our Tech Trends reporter looks at the new gizmo Sony promises will revolutionize the way consumers become infuriated by goddamn blinking TV box things.
This is brilliant. I feel this way about the NAS I bought a while back. It works how you want, but only if you have a fucking PHD in small network attached devices.
This satirical video/bookmark that I came across on Delicious is absolutely hilarious and is an incredibly ingenius paradoy regarding these new gadgets that are released by these large corporations of high tech stuff just to make a buck!
So funny.
But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/but_if_we_started_dating_it
I really like you. I do. You're so nice, and sweet, and you listen to all my problems and respond with the appropriate compliments. But, well, I...
Making Light: The true history of the Bush years
http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/010952.html#010952
in hyperlinks
all articles from "the onion" relating to bush & bush administration.
In a Herculean feat of linkage, Teresa Nielsen Hayden offers us the Bush years through the watering eyes of Onion readers. As she says "Other histories of the Bush years will doubtless be more factual, but none will ever be truer."
I'm Not One Of Those 'Love Thy Neighbor' Christians | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/im_not_one_of_those_love_thy
We're not all "Jesus Freaks" who run around screaming about how everyone should "Judge not lest ye be judged," whine "Blessed are the meek" all the time, or drone on and on about how we're all equal in the eyes of God! Some of us are just trying to be good, honest folks who believe the unbaptized will roam the Earth for ages without the comfort of God's love when Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior returns on Judgment Day to whisk the righteous off to heaven.
Ha.
Everybody has this image of "crazy Christians" based on what they hear in the media, but it's just not true. Most Christians are normal, decent folks. We don't all blindly follow a bunch of outdated biblical tenets or go all fanatical about every bit of dogma. What I'm trying to say is, don't let the actions of a vocal few color your perceptions about what the majority of us are like.
Obama Depressed, Distant Since 'Battlestar Galactica' Series Finale | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obama_depressed_distant_since
The Onion
exactly
No, really. It's true. The Onion wouldn't lie about these matters.
"The president seems to be someplace else lately," said one high-level official, speaking on condition of anonymity. "Yesterday we were all being briefed on the encroachment of Iranian drone planes into Iraq, when he just looked up from the table and blurted out, 'What am I supposed to watch on Fridays at 10 p.m. now? Numb3rs?'" "I haven't seen him this upset since Admiral Adama realized that Earth was actually an uninhabitable wasteland," the official continued . . .
Obama watched the finale just as he had every previous episode, alone in the White House screening room with the volume turned all the way up.
"I haven't seen him this upset since Admiral Adama realized that Earth was actually an uninhabitable wasteland," the official continued.
WASHINGTON—What am I supposed to watch on Fridays at 10 p.m. now? Numb3rs? blurted out a distraught Obama, in the middle of a briefing on Iranian drone planes.
New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It | The Onion - America's Finest News Source
http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-social-networking-site-changing-the-way-oh-chr,17465/
Let Someone Else Report On This Bullshit
RT @davidianm: http://onion.com/bBpcN3 via @TheOnion - New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It
"Through its competitive elements like badges and points, Foursquare helps generate brand loyalty," said the Ph.D.-holding individual, whose decades in higher education were basically shit upon by our inane questions about various bits of Foursquare ephemera. "It's a unique and transformative social networking tool." "Can I go now?" he added.