best of craigslist : Tips For Clueless People Who Get Mugged
http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/845973660.html

Good advice from NYC cop.

Anyway, here's some helpful tips for the next time someone jacks your shit. 1) Pay attention. Granted, you weren't paying attention to start with or you wouldn't have gotten mugged, but now that you've been hit from behind / had a gun shoved in your face, pay attention. 2) Follow directions. Give the friendly mugger what he wants. Don't talk back or fight. In all likelyhood, you're a pussy hipster retard, and are, by NYC law, unarmed. 3) You've been paying attention right? Remember some simple things in this order: sex, clothing color, clothing type, headwear, and direction of flight. … In conclusion: Don't be stupid, pay attention, call the cops, and don't be a dick.