Love in the Time of Darwinism by Kay S. Hymowitz, City Journal Autumn 2008
http://www.city-journal.org/2008/18_4_darwinist_dating.html

A very engaging look at the current practices of male/female relationships. "Today, though, there is no standard scenario for meeting and mating, or even relating. For one thing, men face a situation—and I’m not exaggerating here—new to human history. Never before have men wooed women who are, at least theoretically, their equals—socially, professionally, and sexually." I think the most interesting point is this idea about female expectations: "[Women] want to compete equally, and have the privileges of their mother’s generation. They want the executive position, AND the ability to stay home with children and come back into the workplace at or beyond the position at which they left. They want the bad boy and the metrosexual." This last sentence is the major sticking point in my mind, though I've wondered since reading it if I'm just attracted to it because it justifies/reinforces my, shall we say, lack of aggression in dating.

"Earlier this year, I published an article in City Journal called “Child-Man in the Promised Land.” The piece elicited a roaring flood of mailed and blogged responses, mostly from young men who didn’t much care for its title (a reference to Claude Brown’s 1965 novel Manchild in the Promised Land) or its thesis: that too many single young males (SYMs) were lingering in a hormonal limbo between adolescence and adulthood, shunning marriage and children, and whiling away their leisure hours with South Park reruns, marathon sessions of World of Warcraft, and Maxim lists of the ten best movie fart scenes."

Success in a relationship involves five daily habits that'll keey you and your mate satisfied. Rekindle love with dating tips from the experts and couples who have salvaged relationships on the rocks.

Unresolvable

Everyone deserves the same chance at permanence and happiness

Everyone deserves the same chance at permanence and happiness. On Countdown with Keith Olbermann, msnbc.com.

Everyone has annoying habits, and a sizable part of every successful marriage is learning to live with those things each other does that annoy you. I think it's safe to

Using "frak," or Klingon, or both, instead of regular swear words

love this...amazing story about love and strength

"Let’s say you have what you believe to be a healthy marriage. You’re still friends and lovers after spending more than half of your lives together. […] Sure, you have your marital issues, but on the whole you feel so self-satisfied about how things have worked out that you would never, in your wildest nightmares, think you would hear these words from your husband one fine summer day: 'I don’t love you anymore. I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.' But wait. This isn’t the divorce story you think it is. Neither is it a begging-him-to-stay story. It’s a story about hearing your husband say 'I don’t love you anymore' and deciding not to believe him. And what can happen as a result."

very well-written article by Tim Kreider on using alternate life paths as a way of gauging and judging the choices we have made.

Most of my married friends now have children, the rewards of which appear to be exclusively intangible and, like the mysteries of some gnostic sect, incommunicable to outsiders. In fact it seems from the outside as if these people have joined a dubious cult: they claim to be much happier and more fulfilled than ever before, even though they live in conditions of appalling filth and degradation, deprived of the most basic freedoms and dignity, and owe unquestioning obedience to a capricious and demented master.

on how people judge others out of jealousy or fear, and on the different choices we all make, and on how one choice cancels out other choices and on how that's hard. See comments for great discussion.

Two German children - aged five and six - have been stopped by police from eloping to Africa to tie the knot in the sun, reports say. The budding lovebirds, identified as Mika and Anna-Lena, packed bathing costumes, sunglasses and a lilo and headed for the airport. They even had the presence of mind to invite along an official witness - Anna-Lena's seven-year-old sister. The three got as far as Hanover railway station before police intervened. The young couple were "very much in love" and had decided to get married in Africa "where it is warm", police spokesman Holger Jureczko told the AFP news agency.

The cutest story ever. Two German children fall in love and try to run away together.

Two German children, ages 5 and 6, packed their swimming trunks and passports and attempted to sneak away to Africa so they could elope. And they even thought to bring along a 7-year old witness. Too cute.

We hear a lot about “biblical marriage” these days. Some of us might not be clear on what that means. The website Religious Tolerance has provided a helpful article on the types of marriage found in the pages of the bible.

1. Polygynous Marriage 2. Levirate Marriage When a woman was widowed without a son, it became the responsibility of the brother-in-law or a close male relative to take her in and impregnate her. If the resulting child was a son, he would be considered the heir of her late husband. See Ruth, and the story of Onan (Gen. 38:6-10). 3. A man, a woman and her property — a female slave 4. A man, one or more wives, and some concubines The definition of a concubine varies from culture to culture, but they tended to be live-in mistresses. 5. A male soldier and a female prisoner of war Women could be taken as booty 6. A male rapist and his victim Deuteronomy 22:28-29 describes how an unmarried woman who had been raped must marry her attacker. 7. A male and female slave A female slave could be married to a male slave without consent, 8. Monogamous, heterosexual marriage

1) polygynous 2) levirate 3) wife's slave 4) concubines 5) soldier and kidnapped female prisoner 6) rapist-raped 7) two slaves (forced) 8) monogamous heterosexual

Making a connection when you first start dating is generally easy compared to maintaining the connection in the long term. Here, the country's top love experts offer up their best advice -- for free!

Rob Thomas's slightly conflated argument for marriage equality

Looking at a sexy photo of my wife "activated part of your 'new brain' that represents the sensation of touch in your genital area,"

For me, translating love into biology is actually kind of reassuring. Yes, it takes away some of the mystery — but also the fear. Think of it like a drug: If you're high and feel like you're sliding off the face of the earth, you can tell yourself, Hey, I'm having a horrible chemical reaction, but I'll get over it. I will stabilize.

Katie Kirkpatrick, 21, held off cancer to celebrate the happiest day of her life...

The Bride Was Beautiful http://bit.ly/17BSEw #feedly [from http://twitter.com/eaton3000/statuses/1600735230]

Pa' que chilles un rato. :)

I hate Nicole

Meet a woman with the perfect amount of freedom and rights

All The Sex, None of The Nagging! Are you tired of wondering if she’s cheating on you? Do you love to leave the toilet seat up? Want to enjoy freedom on the weekend and watch a little football with your buddies, rather than work on your “honey do” list? Well, now you don’t have to worry any of that with the latest craze in adult dating, dating and marrying inmates for conjugal visits. With a conjugal marriage, you will finally have a wife with the perfect amount of freedoms and rights, and more importantly, you will finally start enjoying your own.

http://www.conjugalharmony.com/

What makes men cheat? A marriage counselor surveyed 200 husbands to find out the real reasons behind infidelity. Find out the signs that your partner may be having an affair, and how to prevent a man from cheating in the first place.

RLL CHEATING This is a list of reasons why men cheat from the point of view of men, which I thought might be helpful for Erin. Some of the reasons could help her create questions for her survey.

Whether Cahn and Carbone are right will take time and subsequent scholarship to learn; but their story is both plausible and sobering. Plausible, because it brings so many aspects of the culture wars into sharper focus. Sobering, because the economic and cultural forces battering traditional family norms show no signs of abating -- but the new, education-centered pathway to adulthood is often least accessible to those who need it most.

In red America, families form adults

"New norms arise for this environment, norms geared to prevent premature family formation. The new paradigm prizes responsible childbearing and child-rearing far above the traditional linkage of sex, marriage, and procreation. Instead of emphasizing abstinence until marriage, it enjoins: Don't form a family until after you have finished your education and are equipped for responsibility. In other words, *adults form families*. Family life marks the end of the transition to adulthood, not the beginning. Red America still prefers the traditional model."

RT @brainpicker: Do "family values" weaken families? Very compelling read from National Journal http://is.gd/c3p5t [from http://twitter.com/bfwriter/statuses/13765341391]

Can it be? One of the oddest paradoxes of modern cultural politics may at last be resolved. The paradox is this: Cultural conservatives revel in condemning the loose moral values and louche lifestyles of "San Francisco liberals." But if you want to find two-parent families with stable marriages and coddled kids, your best bet is to bypass Sarah Palin country and go to Nancy Pelosi territory: the liberal, bicoastal, predominantly Democratic places that cultural conservatives love to hate.