longtime_lurker: Fic: joyful girl (Ashlee gen with Pete/Ashlee, R)
http://longtime-lurker.livejournal.com/16145.html

Tame little rebellions, maybe, but in this family Ashlee's already learned to take what she can get.

"Look, it's like," she says finally, feeling drunk and dumb and bad with words. "I was raised to talk about God when you were sober and sex when you were wasted. As far as I can tell, in your world or whatever, it's basically the other way round." [Lovely, believable traces-canon-and-fills-in-the-gaps type Ashlee-centric fic.]

When she was 11, Ashlee Simpson hated her sister. While she never admits this in so many words, her actions back then spoke volumes. She resented Jessica’s elder status, the way her parents fawned over their firstborn’s dreams of pop stardom...felt inferior, awkward, left out. A popular girl at school in Waco, Texas, Jessica would regularly have friends over, banishing Ashlee to her bedroom upstairs. But Ashlee was a combative force even as a preteen, and she liked nothing better than embarrassing her sister...so, wearing only a bathrobe, she would stomp down to Jessica’s gathering, disrobe before everyone and play the guitar naked, all the while grinning like a lunatic.

REC: Very bittersweet, as well as hot. "When she was 11, Ashlee Simpson hated her sister. While she never admits this in so many words, her actions back then spoke volumes. She resented Jessica’s elder status, the way her parents fawned over their firstborn’s dreams of pop stardom...felt inferior, awkward, left out. A popular girl at school in Waco, Texas, Jessica would regularly have friends over, banishing Ashlee to her bedroom upstairs. But Ashlee was a combative force even as a preteen, and she liked nothing better than embarrassing her sister...so, wearing only a bathrobe, she would stomp down to Jessica’s gathering, disrobe before everyone and play the guitar naked, all the while grinning like a lunatic."

When she was 11, Ashlee Simpson hated her sister. While she never admits this in so many words, her actions back then spoke volumes. She resented Jessica’s elder status, the way her parents fawned over their firstborn’s dreams of pop stardom...felt inferior, awkward, left out. A popular girl at school in Waco, Texas, Jessica would regularly have friends over, banishing Ashlee to her bedroom upstairs. But Ashlee was a combative force even as a preteen, and she liked nothing better than embarrassing her sister...so, wearing only a bathrobe, she would stomp down to Jessica’s gathering, disrobe before everyone and play the guitar naked, all the while grinning like a lunatic.

From day one it's clear to her that Jessica is the golden child.

Good look at Ashlee's life...

She knocks herself out to look hot and ends up looking like Jessica; she wraps herself all around Pete and is quiet and clingy all night. She drinks far too many vodka-redbulls and practically gropes him in all the pictures and then spends half an hour throwing up. -- Transcends fanfiction to be a story in its own right, it's just very very real and inspiring.

Later she'll write a dozen songs trying desperately to reassert that defiance, to recapture those days when she felt so precariously different, so attention-gettingly alive. It won't really work, not once they've passed through the hands of a dozen co-writers and producers and label people and Daddy.

>> From day one it's clear to her that Jessica is the golden child. << Oh Ashlee. This was so amazing. I have no words.

Working title: "GAY!BDEN ANGSTY ANGST." You are warned accordingly! Extra-special disclaimer to this one: I claim no knowledge whatsoever of the actual Brendon Urie's actual sexual orientation. That's his own business, not tinhat material, and also we don't actually know the dude (...unless of course you do, in which case please hit the back button now. D:) Title: those who tell the truth shall die (those who tell the truth shall live forever) Fandom: Panic at the Disco RPF Rating: PG-13ish Pairing: Brendon gen Word Count: ~10,100 Notes: Title from Explosions in the Sky, section headers from a George Takei quote. Many thanks to [info]jocondite for beta help.

"GAY!BDEN ANGSTY ANGST." Hard hurting coming out fic.

Despite his best efforts, touring is inescapably weird because touring is boys and boys and boys. Boys in his space, all the time, boys laughing, boys touching him, all day long, boys everywhere. And sure, when Brendon's up there in performance mode he kinda gets off on the nebulous mass feminine presence of the fans - hell, they all do, its flattering - but it's in front of boys that Brendon really lights up, shows off, sparkles. He knows it. He wonders if its obvious.

He’s in junior high, a tiny, awkward ball of energy, and he's a couple hours into his first ever real show and Brendon Urie has never seen anything like it.

Made-up men and mustached women, exotic dancing and cabaret fashion and surrealist weddings and the lead singer stalking his guitarist hungrily across the stage. The whole thing oozes sexuality, and yeah, it also oozes queer. "I think that says something," Ryan says with satisfaction, "like, that we're secure enough in ourselves to mess with it, you know?" "Yeah," says Brendon, "totally!"

Gay!Brendon angst.

The long, difficult process of coming out for Brendon. Really awesome.

Brendon and coming out

He’s in junior high, a tiny, awkward ball of energy, and he's a couple hours into his first ever real show and Brendon Urie has never seen anything like it. Even at this age Brendon knows enough about music to get that the band (Creed, parent-approved for their vaguely Christian bent) isn’t that great by itself. But being here for this, the live experience, somehow that's totally different. Brendon’s kind of an excitable kid in the first place, but this all-encompassing thrill - mind and body, like he’s part of something huge - this is all new, astonishing, so much holier than church, so much bigger than himself. He wants to live in it forever. It’s the vibration of the bassline coming up through the floor into the soles of his sneakers, the eager way the crowd responds, the heat and percussion and the jostling bodies around him. He’s been half-hard since the show started; it's the first time he’s ever had that physical reaction for very long...

He’s in junior high, a tiny, awkward ball of energy, and he's a couple hours into his first ever real show and Brendon Urie has never seen anything like it. Even at this age Brendon knows enough about music to get that the band (Creed, parent-approved for their vaguely Christian bent) isn’t that great by itself. But being here for this, the live experience, somehow that's totally different. Brendon’s kind of an excitable kid in the first place, but this all-encompassing thrill - mind and body, like he’s part of something huge - this is all new, astonishing, so much holier than church, so much bigger than himself. He wants to live in it forever. It’s the vibration of the bassline coming up through the floor into the soles of his sneakers, the eager way the crowd responds, the heat and percussion and the jostling bodies around him. He’s been half-hard since the show started; it's the first time he’s ever had that physical reaction for very long...

"GAY!BDEN ANGSTY ANGST." (Brendon gen, PG13, +10k)

Working title: "GAY!BDEN ANGSTY ANGST." You are warned accordingly!

“I believe the phrase is ‘glass closet’,” says Spencer, and Brendon kicks his heel against the couch cushions and says lightly, “Can't I have a great glass elevator instead?” "Just make sure it's the right question you're answering," Jon advises him. "Not SO I HEAR YOU'RE IN STAR-CROSSED LOVE WITH RYAN ROSS BUT THE LABEL IS KEEPING YOU APART." Brendon laughs and rolls his eyes, and imagines answering in the affirmative the next time he gets confronted with it - one of their older, weirder devotees, would you describe yourself as queer? or a curious teenager, so my cousin thinks you're cute and he wants to know, do you ever hook up with guys? - and knows he'll never do it.

(Brendon gen, PG13, +10k)